In today’s society we are always searching for more. We get the house we always wanted then we need the furniture to go in it. By the time we have filled the house, it is time to redecorate.
My father once told me it was so much easier for this generation to save money. There were not so many gadgets and toys and things to choose from.

What about the void of modern life? The consumerism that has for many people replaced spirituality? The disconnect between who we are and who we think we are. Are we children of God? Or are we Gods unto ourselves? Without getting into a theological debate, let’s consider who we are.

Often we are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, professionals, Christians, Hindu’s, Muslims.
These are all labels that help us locate ourselves within society. Very few of us have a strong grasp of who we are. How do we test how strong our self knowledge is?
Really, it’s easy. If someone doesn’t share your views and you get very upset or angry or offended then your views are not on a very soft footing.

Today, as I was driving home, an article on NPR was about people’s listening habits and who actually read or listen to journalists who had opposing view from their own. A lot of people read people they don’t agree with to test their own views and grow in their views.

In my own life today, I am testing the paradigms that have driven me for almost 40 years. The thought process I go through, before and after I make a decision. It is fascinating and sometimes disturbing. I don’t always like how it makes me feel but I learn through it. I observe my mind and start to see patterns. Some positive, some negative. It is very exciting to identify a negative thought pattern, dissect it and let it go. It lingers for a few days but everyday I have more energy, more freedom.

You see, we become slaves to our thoughts and the thoughts of others. Say I get angry with someone. My anger is real but it is not me. But it is mine. I embrace it, accept it, then let it go. The other person also has an opportunity here to learn something but they have to want to learn it. It is not my job to judge them if they don’t want to learn their lessons. And I cannot force a lesson on anyone.

Recently, I lost one of my dearest friends. When trust is gone, the rest seems to disappear too. It was like going through a divorce but I felt all my pain. Was she not who I thought she was? Was I as selfless as I thought? (I wish) After I dealt with all my emotions, I can say that I love this person more than ever and wish them all the best life has to offer. All I can hope for is that one day our paths will cross again under difference circumstances when I am a bigger person and have the skills to let go of the past.

Today is not that day.

But one day, I truly believe I will feel peace and love for all of humanity. Not because I have been trained to by society, but because of a deep connection with all things that has been developed over the course of my life. Wish me luck:)