Whatever we perceive our trauma to be, it is real for us. Our survival instinct will kick in at some point. The privilege of being human gives us the opportunity to create or examine the cadences of the human experience.
We are what we think. Although we have no control over the people around us, and the people we let close to us get the opportunity to help us or hurt us. We have to remember that people come and go from our lives in order to teach us something. When we have given them the nugget they need to move on, or vice versa, we are often left with a gaping hole that we need to accept. Because, it isn’t really a bottomless pit, but an opportunity to make life better, to make changes that will bring peace.
Easier said than done.
There are 5 stages of grief that we all go through when we lose someone or something. Our attachments to the things in our lives, allow them to cause us pain. We forget that we are whole to begin with and no one can take that away from us. Our real problem is that we have been conditioned to trust and listen to everyone but our inner self. That we are somehow not really responsible for ourselves but that someone can save us from ourselves.
We might be drifting but we have choices. Too often we hold on too tight and we choke our hopes and dreams, and the hopes and dreams of the people around us. Letting go doesn’t not mean being irresponsible. It means that we live in the present moment, instead of letting our imaginations take us on a wild goose chase. When we live in the past and the future we miss what is going on right now. The beauty of the moment.
We loose flexibility because anything that doesn’t fit our perception of how the past was, or how the future should be gets crushed.
I can say, we are only responsible for ourselves but that is not completely true. If you have children or just your inner child, you have a duty to do your best to protect and provide for them. You must look after ourself first but so e of the luxuries of being a single 20 something who will take stupid risks should be put aside. Security versus luxury.
If you are happy, then your children will thrive. If your inner child is happy , then you will have a good life. The goal is to quiet the mind, meaning that you have peace inside to enjoy all the moments as they come.